Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘coach’

I am all about starting, launching and getting going. Propulsion thrills me. Velocity thrills me. “Your best you. Starting now”, remember?

So, while I’m a big starter, I’m also pretty fascinated by those who are big FINISHERS. Enter the fabulous, inspiring and über-cool Dyana Valentine. Her motto? “Helping self-starters self-finish: one project at a time”.Picture-15-150x150

She’s been on my radar for a while, though it wasn’t until she issued a challenge that I decided to say “howdy”. Her challenge : 40 Days of Our Bodies – a commitment to tending to our bodies for 40 days and noticing the shifts that arise.

I decided to jump on in with committing to 40 days of yoga. No small feat, right? Hatha = hard. Here’s the kicker though. I LOVE yoga. Making room for a daily practice is a challenge, yes, but I started to feel that I was cheating myself out of the substance of this exercise…kinda like a vegan giving up liver and onions for Lent. So I looked a little deeper and I didn’t much care for what I saw…which is precisely when I discovered what I had to do.

On October 3rd, I decided to give up the smokes. FOR GOOD. Yup…that’s right. I had been smoking “socially” for the past two years (again). It pains me to type those words: inner monologue goes something like “you should have known better”; “how can you coach people towards self-care if you weren’t walking the talk”; “yucky stinky” and so on.

But self-imposed judgment doesn’t ever work too well with me (which is why I hadn’t managed to REALLY quit before). Here’s what does work for me:

  1. A good and resonant reason…love. I am 37. My mother died at 59. I am madly in love with my family…and I do not want to cheat them out of ME and what I bring to this life. Ain’t nothing more resonant for me than love.
  2. A good challenge…with accountabilities built in. I shared with Dyana and she’s been a valued source of support, inspiration and giggles. I knew she wouldn’t let me fall. And she won’t.

Am on Day 20. Half-way through Ms D’s  challenge…and 20 days into a new and freer chapter in my blessed life.

What do you need to be finished with so that you can get started on your new path?

Read Full Post »

Have you ever offered advice only to find that it’s duly ignored? Makes you feel kind of cruddy, right? Especially given that, in your mind, it was probably exactly what the recipient needed to hear?

Here’s an inside secret…no one really likes being told what to do (even if they came to you asking for advice…weird, quirky, but true). Further, and I’m sure you’ve experienced this, when people come to their own conclusions, they are more satisfied, motivated and inspired. And when they land on their own solution…BING BING BING…they’re more likely to follow through in action.

The coaching profession accounts for this by basing its work on the assumption that every person is naturally creative, resourceful and whole. Everyone has the answers to their life’s problems within them…they just need someone to help them to pull it out. And when expert advice is really required, clients will have the motivation to find that, too.

I just let you in on Coaching 101. It may sound a little abstract (perhaps), a little ungrounded (I assure you that it is not) and a little woo-woo (at times, sure). But the idea of building your own something and loving it more than something you were just handed is called “The Ikea Effect”. An article in the Harvard Business Review points to the phenomenon that “labor enhances affection for its results”. You-fab vs. pre-fab means you’ll find it more fab.

Intrinsically, I believe this to be true. I am most fond of the art in my house that my husband and I have created ourselves. We encourage our daughter to make her own mistakes rather than handing her the answers. And I’m certainly finding my own way in business as an entrepreneur (with some support systems in place) more so than when I was “corporate”. Ask around…you’ll see what I mean. Stacie Maier, very cool owner of Uprise Careers points to her favourite tattoo…a cute and simple paw print. It’s not the same caliber of the others that adorn her frame, but she did it herself (told you she was cool…and a GREAT person to talk to if you’re late-20’s and “not cubicle friendly”).

Where the Ikea Effect can be worrisome is in the power of “I’m righteousness”. We’ve seen this too, haven’t we? People who actually use and BELIEVE such 80’s phrases such as: “my way or the highway”. The HBR article points out:

Managers should keep in mind that ideas they have come to love because they invested their own labor in them may not be as highly valued by their coworkers – or their customers.

In building Ikea furniture, we all know one thing: lose the Allen key and your Galant desk will never come together. No duct tape can help you there.

Further, in coming to your own decisions, if you’ve asked for advice, please appreciate the perspective from which it came, listen to the offering for resonance with your own values and go from there. Assuredly, no duct tape will be required.

Read Full Post »

New term alert…“weisure”. Well, it may not be new to you…I JUST realized that “yard sale” was the new “gong show”. In any case, it references the blurring of the line between work and leisure. Clever…even if it does sound like a slacker band name.

I came across an article on CNN about the phenomenon. It reads:

Many who haven’t already abandoned the 9-to-5 workday for the 24-7 life of weisure probably will do so soon, according to New York University sociologist Dalton Conley, who coined the word. It’s the next step in the evolving work-life culture.

Am really not sure what to make of this. Intuitively, I believe *strongly* that work and leisure should be very well separated. However, I am “guilty” of checking my BlackBerry during play time with my daughter, and dabbling on Facebook when I should be doing accounting (though my abhorrence of accounting is well documented).

The article points out that this reflects that work has become more fun. Work being fun = good. Ignoring my daughter for the sake of an email check = bad.

The article points to the flipside in that fun has become “work”…think social technology.

Weisure has been fueled by social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, where “friends” may actually be business partners or work colleagues.

True true.

I’ve been tripping over “weisure” for a while now in my own life. I have a value of being present in whatever it is that I’m doing…especially what I feel very important in my life: coaching clients; playing with my daughter; practicing yoga; and, enjoying time with my husband. By allowing my thoughts (and even actions) to deviate from what I’m focused on, I feel like I’m letting myself down…as trampling on one’s values often does.

In the end (of this posting anyways), I guess I DO know what to make of this….for my own life. I’m redrawing the dividing line in the sand between my work and my leisure. I love them both too much to not be focused 100%.

Read Full Post »

2% milk

The “2%” in reference to milk is a bit of a misnomer to me. It’s not really addressing 2% MILK…it’s addressing the 2% FAT in the milk. But we’re not considering that when we drink it…we’re simply intent on drinking the milk.

At a CTI training course this weekend, our skillful leaders Ken and Nina introduced us to the notion of 2%. Consider something you feel strongly about. A person you respect, an image you love, a flavour you detest. Here’s an example: I detest the flavour of fluoride treatment from when I was a kid (especially bubble gum flavour…oooh and the feeling of those horrid styrofoam trays that you had to clamp in your teeth). Got your own example clear in your mind? Envision it, feel it and hold it clear.

Now…consider the complete OPPOSITE. Yeah, I know…it feels weird because it’s completely untrue. I now LOVE the flavour of bubble gum fluoride treatment. So…get that clear in your mind. Own it, feel it, see it smell it…how wrong that statement is for you.

NOW…find the 2% of this perspective that IS true. WHAAAAA? Impossible…the flavour would make me gag. It would make my tears well up as I tried to not throw up. Think, think, think…how can there be any truth in the statement that I could love the flavour. Here are a couple of ways: I live in a country rich enough to make kids’ dental care a priority. I got to miss class because of this temporary discomfort. With this coating of goop, I am now invincible and can eat all the sugary crap I want (I was a kid, after all). Not so nauseated now.

There’s a nugget of truth in every perspective…it may just be 2%, but there’s still gold in them there hills.

Read Full Post »